Together Alone
by Anduria Trianys
Summary: An 'End of Days' and afterwards song fic to 'Together Alone'. Ianto's thoughts about Jack in the midst of everything. Jack/Ianto, from Ianto's viewpoint.


Together Alone

Together Alone

The song was playing in his head, just as it had been since the opening of the Rift.

_Together alone  
above and beneath  
we were as close  
as anyone can be._

Jack had been gone for barely twenty minutes, but it already felt like an eternity. He had told Gwen to take him to an open space, presumably so he could try to defeat Abaddon himself…and then he had just left like that, without a word, only the faintest look beforehand, which the naked eye would have missed, unless it knew to look.

It just so happened that Ianto did know where to look and, in that moment, Jack had said more to him than a thousand words ever could. He had given him hope. It might be a small glimmer of hope, but it was something to cling onto.

He took off his jacket and absently fingered the patches on his shoulders where Jack's hands had rested. They had stood so close together that, even though they hadn't been touching, Ianto had still felt Jack's body trembling slightly as his body stabilized following his earlier death. They had stood together and yet…at that moment, even as he hoped that the world would be saved, Ianto had never felt so alone.

It was almost a relief when Tosh's call alerted him to the return of the SUV.

_Now you are gone  
far away from me.  
As is once will always be  
together alone_

Owen had asked, as they watched Gwen smooth down the coverings on Jack's body, how long she was going to sit there and wait. Ianto had not reacted, save for a single look in his direction. But inside, he wondered why Owen had asked that; if it had been Ianto's choice, he would be doing the exact same thing.

How was it possible to feel so close to someone and yet be so far away? He wasn't even sat with Jack and yet now, as he tidied the pages on the desk before him, he had never felt so connected with the man. Not with the boss, or with the body…but with the man.

As he started to leave, he passed by the coat hanging limply on the stand and found himself drawn towards it and eventually picking it up. He had never realised just how much that coat really was a part of Jack, but the unmistakable scent seemed to surround him, even before he realised it. At the same time, he remembered how Jack would wrap the coat around him when he fell asleep or when he was cold…and how he himself always made sure the older man was never without it…he shouldn't be without it now.

At that moment, he found himself breathing in the scent as if it was for the last time. _Jack, I swear…_he thought, not knowing what he was swearing and barely realising that he was soaking the material with his tears.

_Anei ra maua (here we are together)  
e piri tahi nei (in a very close embrace)  
E noha tahi nei (being together)  
Ko maua anake (just us alone)_

Even when he saw Jack's smile upon his approach, he had barely even expected a handshake, and certainly not the embrace he was being pulled into. He wanted to cry and tell him how sorry he was, but when it came to it, he found that he couldn't get the words out. All he could do was collapse against the older man and cling to him, shivering slightly as he felt one hand run slowly up his back. __

Kei runga a Rangi (Rangi the sky-father is above)  
Ko papa Kai raro (the earth mother is below)  
E mau tonu nei (our love for one another)  
kia mau tonu ra (is everlasting)  


If he hadn't expected the embrace, Ianto certainly hadn't expected Jack to kiss him, especially not in front of the rest of the team. But he had, and when he did, a gentle feeling of warmth had infused through his entire body, calming him and comforting him. Even when he finally left him to go to Owen, their hands didn't break contact until the last possible second. And then, for the first time, Ianto wondered if they could be something…something meaningful…something special.

_  
Together alone…  
Shallow and deep,  
holding our breath;  
paying death no heed._

The first days after Jack's disappearance were hard, but Ianto kept a calm and professional façade at work, only allowing himself to break in snatched moments when he was alone. He knew it wasn't exactly conducive to work, but he didn't know what else he could do; he wouldn't cry at night, because he didn't want to appear weak the next day, but he slept and sung to himself, always the same words, like a mantra to calm him.

_  
"I'm still your friend  
when you are in need.  
As is once will always be  
Earth and sky,  
moon and sea…"_

Wherever Jack was, he hoped that he would know that.


End file.
